A matrimonial advertisement in the newspaper leads to a terrible confusion in the mind of the concerned person, as suddenly there are innumerable people to choose from. I faced a similar situation, when I was loaded with continuous calls from all parts of the country. Out of the all the calls that were pouring in, there was one particular family from Bangalore who showed great interest in me. I wasn't too keen on the guy, nor was my dad. But still, we just gave it a thought and proceeded further. After the exchange of profiles, they insisted on meeting at the earliest possible time. Finally, after a long wait, the date was fixed - 18th October, 2008.
That day was already a special day for me, as it was my closest friend's birthday. I wished to celebrate it grandly as it was her last birthday here with me after which she would be moving to her new home far far away from me. But, destiny doesn't let you have your way everytime! I had no option but to say okay to go to Bangalore. Yeah the custom usually is that the guy visits the girl's place. But dad wanted me to have a look at the place where I might have to stay the rest of my life. So we went there instead.
Till the last minute I was in a state of confusion. Should I really be going there? The profile wasn't too impressive for me atleast. While at the airport, I told my dad that we could still cancel the trip. He remained silent. Later, before boarding the aircraft, he began to speak "Remember, don't make too much of a fuss. The boy is ready to accept you even with your drawback. Look at just two things - Will he keep you for life? Will he be able to feed you all your life?" I was quite shocked. My spinal surgery isn't a drawback that I should just accept any guy! Then I asked my dad "How would I know now whether he's gonna keep me with him for life?" Dad replied "That you have to see for yourself." I was left wondering at that.
We boarded the flight which was rather uncomfortable and seemed a long journey. Finally we arrived in Bangalore and had a long drive before we reached my uncle's place, who was going to accompany us for lunch and then to the guy's place. I was glad to meet uncle. We went to a restaurant to kill our hunger. There uncle advised me to talk to the guy freely and ask him everything I needed to know. My dad said that I shouldn't expect anything from them as now it's entirely on me whether I like the guy or not. If I do, then they will talk further. We then moved to our hotel room for some rest.
Soon we had to leave for the guy's house. I got ready but was still confused about how to dress up and how I'm supposed to behave over there, as I'd never experienced this before. We sat in the car, prepared for a long journey again. I was quite tensed, yet fell asleep to gain some relief. Finally we reached our destination. Contrary to what I expected, the guy came out to welcome us, introducing himself as KGK, while his parents were sitting inside. He greeted my dad, brother, uncle and aunt, and gave me a pleasant smile. We walked in and greeted his parents. I sat between my brother and aunt. He was seated opposite to me. I was just looking down at the floor most of the time. His parents and my uncle did most of the talking for about about ten minutes. My dad then suggested that the guy and I speak alone for a while, to which his parents agreed. So he led me to his room up the stairway.
"Don't mind the mess in my room" KGK said. I said "Oh it's alright!" He asked me to sit at the computer table while he sat on his bed. He then asked me to tell him about myself, my family, my likings etc., after which he did the same. Almost everything that he said was the opposite of what I liked and believed in. He said he doesn't follow the 70s-80s policy where the husband goes to work and the wife waits for him at home all day and just washes vessels and cooks food. He believed in both doing both - house work as well as professional work. He preferred to move out of his parent's house after marriage as he wanted privacy. In that case, since no one else would be at home, he wanted his wife to work full time too, so that she has nothing to crib about later on. I then expressed my view which was exactly the 70s-80s policy that he detested. He was surprised and asked me to think it over.
During our conversation, I realised the importance of friends in his life. His friends seemed to have been missing him so much as one by one they were calling him. Instead of ignoring those calls while having such an important discussion with me, he answered those calls! One friend asked "What are you upto?" KGK giggled "I'm attending an interview here!" I gave a sarcastic smile. "Is he really serious about this whole thing?" I wondered. No doubt friends have a great importance in my life too. But here was something more important than that, which maybe wasn't for him. Anyway, we talked further. I suddenly asked him, "Is this your own house?" He replied, "No, this is my father's house!" I laughed within. If I marry him by any chance, and one day I'm asked, "Is this your own house?" I would have to reply, "No, this is my husband's house!" Grrrr!! I certainly don't want this to happen to me! We ended our conversation finally, as I told him I would have to think about the working part.
We then walked down. I sat back next to my aunt who then served me some snacks, while KGK's mom got me a cup of tea. I'd never had tea in my whole life! But I couldn't possibly say a no here. So I just drank it quietly without making a fuss. His parents were engaged in a conversation with my uncle, which finally ended as dad wanted to leave. Dad said we would discuss the matter and get back to them the next day. After a long round of byes, we left from there. I joined my uncle and aunt in one car, while my dad and brother left in another car. I then discussed the matter with uncle who said the guy isn't bad after all. Dad suddenly called and said that since we're not meeting the guy again the next day, we might as well leave back to Chennai the next morning instead of taking the flight we booked for the next evening.
Uncle dropped me to a restaurant then, where I was joining dad and my brother for dinner. While over there, I told dad everything I discussed with the guy. Dad said an outright NO for the guy! I was quite shocked at that, after what my dad said at Chennai airport. But I was relieved. I could eat in peace. We then reached back to the hotel room. Though I didn't have a sound sleep, I was happy that dad didn't force me into anything I didn't wanna do. The next morning we took our flight back home.
A few days passed by. My dad didn't call them, nor did they. I was wondering maybe the guy didn't like me. To my surprise, he suddenly called me one day. He said his parents liked me alot, and even he enjoyed our conversation that day! I then told him that I wasn't okay with the idea of working full time, and indirectly told him a no. He then spoke to me for a while and hung up, sayin we could still be friends. He then started messaging me. Initially I replied, but now I avoid it. Does this friendship really mean anything? I doubt...
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